My new soft drink of choice is Diet Vernors. Here’s what makes it great:
- Ginger flavoring overpowers the taste of aspartame
- Aspartame overpowers the taste of phenylalanine
- Vernors is a Michigan thing
- Diet Vernors tastes very similar to, well, Michigan.
- No calories, no carbs, no caffeine, very little flavor
- Barrel Aged
- In classic “Diet version” color scheme, which makes the packaging seem prescription
- Very tough to find in most stores
- Reminds you of Ginger-flavored Altoids, which are also very tough to find
- Works as 10W-40 (for emergencies only)
- Keeps scorpions away (I have seen none since starting to drink it)
- Reminds you of the finer things in life, like how good it feels to get your 10 cents back
- Sharp can edges assure at least some bleeding
- The sound of the can opening reminds me of the time my tympanic membrane was perforated
That’s all I can think of, although I’m sure that there’s more.