I wanted to get this on my blog, hoping that I wasn’t the only one who experienced this.
In October, I was told by a reliable source that AT&T would offer 3G in Jackson, Michigan, beginning November 7 2010. Someone else said to me “hey, did you hear about 3G?”, and they weren’t getting this info from the same source. A convergence of other sources blatantly pointed to 3G in Jackson by November 7. For this, I sang great songs of joy. With this many people saying so — INCLUDING the guy who works for AT&T and was wearing a telltale polo shirt when he made this utterance — how could I go wrong?

I started mentally saying goodbye to the EDGE network, an acronym which stands for:
E= horribly
D= slow
G= internet
E= like a 56 K modem

Trips to Ann Arbor (or, for that matter, Flint) were always marked by the moment when my iPhone would switch from the EDGE network to 3G, which was like going from CompuServe to whatever a much faster version of CompuServe is. When we crossed the line back to Jackson, we also encountered the reliable but disappointing “E” in the screens. Welcome back to Prodigy. Welcome back to Netscape Navigator. Welcome back to DOS 1.0.

What I’m trying to say is that I was really excited about dropping the E and getting the 3G. Reliable sources. Relative likelihood. Right on.

November 7 rolled around. I remember it well. It was the day that the Salvation Army Chicago Staff Band played at Spring Arbor Free Methodist Church. It was also the day that we set our clocks back. And it was the day that we were to get our new internet for our phones. No longer would the people of Flint laugh at Jackson. We would finally be on the same level. November 7 evening rolled around and I found myself at the gathering, checking again to see if the “E” became a “3G”. November 7 night rolled around and I found myself waking up at 11:33PM to the sound of an incoming text, which I guessed was AT&T telling me that my internet was about to be able to show more than 4 colors at a time. It was actually my sister wondering if I had ever been shoved by a nun or something.

November 8 rolled around and I wondered aloud. “Hey…wha happened?” I asked aloud, only to be answered by silence. I checked with some sources and they all had the same experience. E. No 3G.

“Yeah… they really left us hanging, eh?” one AT&T store employee said, having been told the same thing and finding themselves closer than ever to the EDGE. “I guess it won’t be until February, or, maybe… hold on… my e-mail is still loading…”

Don’t bother. I’ll keep waiting. What else can I do? Travel to Flint for all my application updates?
No thanks.

Okay. I’m better now. Catharsis.