[RadCast] Contemplate (2 Corinthians 3:18)

I went down an interesting rabbit hole today that started with the call to contemplation, jumped to the reminder of a Holy God in his temple, a temple I have no business being in (let alone even running my mouth about) and yet the grace of God is evident even in the Psalms, where God answers David from his temple… and David responds with worship and love.
Intimacy with God. That’s what I’m pursuing as I spend the day contemplating the Lord’s glory.

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[RadCast] Blessing the New Year (Numbers 6:24-27)

May the Lord bless your 2024! With the provision of God comes the responsibility of God. In other words, God provides all good things and anticipates that it’s not just our situation that will change but us, too.
You’re going to have His name on you? Be careful with that dynamite! God’s grace and mercy invite us to enjoy His blessings and to become more like Jesus in the process.
Your thoughts?
(Happy New Year, RadCasters! Thanks for watching & sharing!)

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When You Can’t Ride in the Carriage

A few weeks ago, our family spent the evening at the Downtown Jamestown Christmas Celebration. It was picturesque, our Little Town of Jamestown (how still we see thee lie). There’s not too much to Jamestown, though that’s changing rapidly as people move from there to here. The earliest settlers would recognize most of the buildings but not the horseless carriages and neighborhoods of garage-faced homes to store them. They might be surprised that the old Reformed Church is now a funeral home, though it makes some sense in the grand scheme. They’d certainly recognize all the marks of a community Christmas party, though likely taken aback by our weird fascination with ugly Christmas sweaters. Were there Reindeer in a cage filled with straw, as seen on many InstaGram posts that night? Of course. Was there mass-produced Hot Cocoa? By the stainless-steel gallon. Was Santa taking requests from all the good little girls and boys?
Yes, and even some of the not so good ones.

Most delightful was the Christmas carriage drawn by two white horses. We stood in line with our fellow townsfolk and waited for a ride, but alas, the rides had to end before our turn, as it was time for horses and rider to clock out for the night. Was our 6 year old son sad? Sure, and so were the rest of us in line. But who are we to question these beasts of burden with their sly contract negotiation skills? If a horse says “we’re done, where’s my oat bag?” I say hop in the trailer and we’ll get McNuggets on the way back to the barn.

Do horses eat Chicken McNuggets? These are the questions I didn’t even know I had until I started writing.

Life is a series of celebrations and mourning, triumphs and losses. No, we didn’t ride in the carriage, but at least we got to see Santa. At Christmas, we celebrate the incarnation of Christ and gather family around food and gifts. As soon as family gets involved, there’s always a chance of sadness. For some, it’s feeling the loss during the holidays that yes, they’re really gone, and our Christmas won’t be the same this year or ever. Little kids may get a great gift from Aunt Clara, but no doubt she’ll insist on little Miley help find the pictures on her iPhone 7. A double edged sword, the gift and curse of being young. Back when I was young, expertise meant knowing how to program Grandma’s VCR. We used to dole out smart-mouthed sass about how the TV works through magic and computers store files in the sky. Nowadays, that’s what actually happens as data is kept in the cloud, which I barely understand because I am now old — not so old that I can’t find pictures on my iPhone, but certainly of an age where my teenage sons have to explain why certain elements of the internet are funny. I thank them for their patience with me and marvel at the new standards and practices of pop culture.

I understand my dad a little more every day.

Speaking of Bobby D., I’m in the hospital as dad is dealing with what appears to be a nasty flu. Not being able to breathe is scary. It’s not what we planned for our family Christmas gathering this weekend, but at least some of us are together and all are accounted for. Christmas is no time for people to face tough stuff, but, then again, there’s never a good time for bad things. One can’t plan for emergencies.

God isn’t surprised by our emergencies. This truth brings both comfort and confusion. The Divine, who is wisdom, love, and power, is a welcome presence when life throws the unexpected. However — and this is a question that more than a few hesitate to ask — if God knew it was going to happen, why didn’t He stop it? We may not be able to plan for emergencies, but God can… and He could stop them (if he wanted). If you had the power to go back in time and stop the 9/11 attacks, would you? Of course! How could you not?

I suggest that there are two considerations to the question of why a good God allows bad things to happen. First, a good God gives total freedom to us mere humans, risks and all. We can do just about anything we want with usually predictable results. God doesn’t make robots. We are created in His image and are free to choose the wise or the foolish, the light or the dark, and the results of those choices will play out in the world, just as God designed. He rarely bends his rules. If He did, either by drastically switching things around in the laws of physics or forcing our minds, we would no longer have free-will.

However, there are examples in scripture and in the testimonies of many that God does intervene, that God has bent the rules and gotten involved. We usually refer to these moments as a miracle, and we shouldn’t pretend to understand why He does what He does. Remember when you were a kid and your parents said “you’re grumpy, take a nap!” You screamed NOOOO and threw play dough at the wall, making their point self-evident. To your limited perspective, a nap made absolutely no sense. What a waste! And yet, it’s exactly what you needed at the moment. Meanwhile your parents are scraping blue, red, and orange off the walls of the dining room (but leaving the white because it blends in). When you woke up in a puddle of your drool and groggily walked out to the kitchen, they still loved you and offered to feed you McNuggets while you thought nothing of your earlier tantrum. That’s grace.

I believe God does intervene, but I can’t prove it. I have faith that He does, and faith that He can, so I ask. As you should, too. Asking for help is humiliating, and humility is the key ingredient for discipleship stew. There is no following Jesus without genuine humility — at least not the kind that will change your life. “Thy will, not mine be done” is a reckless prayer of radical trust. Praying like that will inevitably lead to disappointment, because it means death to self, and the self is a demanding, selfish beast who resists death at nearly any cost.

What if God is protecting and carrying us in ways we don’t realize? I think about that all the time. How often did I say “Cam, watch for cars!” last summer? Every time Cam crossed the road, but with only one close call. Had I not said that (had the Holy Spirit not whispered something into your heart in just that moment) it could’ve been tragic. Maybe walking in the Spirit is more than just producing spiritual fruit. I have to wonder if it means that we end up getting some kind of intel that perhaps has a bit to do with our comfort and always has to do with the Kingdom of God. Like a toddler who almost falls down the stairs, only to be caught by a hyper-vigilant mom, toddling on and completely ignorant to his mother’s lifesaving heroism, God keeps some level of watch and guidance over us, especially when we ask.

But that guidance can only go so far before it becomes force. And, while there are examples (think of Saul of Tarsus meeting Jesus on the road to Emmaus), it’s probably normal to let us make our choice, even after He’s spoken. After all, when Jesus confronted Paul, it was with a question, not a directive. “Why do you persecute me?” could have led to Paul coming up swinging, saying “because you’re not real and your followers are ruining the religion your Dad started.” He didn’t choose that.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” says the Psalmist. That sounds like somebody asking for direction from a trusted source. It’s there if we want it, even if it’s only one step at a time.

Here we are, almost a week into Emmanuel (God with us) and life barrels toward a new year. Like 2023, 2024 will be a mixed bag. Some good, some bad, but there He is, with us all the way, occasionally offering clear guidance and always offering His Word and presence. His clarity of thought and gracious presence is the better gift by far, as the guidance is for a temporary need, but eternity lasts a lot longer than whatever challenge we face today.

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Christmas 2023

Most pastors who’ve been at it for 20+ years find a stocking full of challenge when it comes to telling the same story every Christmas. We seek the Lord and ask — with yule log passion — what fresh word do your people need to hear this year (that I haven’t already said)? Don’t get me wrong: the story of God’s salvation, from the wretched fall of humanity, making us all grinches (Romans 3:23) to the promise of new life in Christ (1 Corinthians 5:17) is a powerful story that we need to hear again and again. All humans ache for renewal, and the Christmas story, told in tandem with the story of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection, brings us to new life if we want it.It is the Holy Spirt who makes the story fresh in our hearts as He stirs the slushy waters of our cold souls which, over time, are littered with the gross grey snow that clutters every every road until mid-March.

We’ve all imagined taking a flamethrower to our driveways to conquer the permafrost, wondering if our local government issues a permit for that kind of pyrotechnic weapon. God is a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29) that melts snow, ice, and refines us so that yes, our small hearts change and grow three sizes that day (Seuss 7:41).

I’m glad to say that our family finds itself in a time of renewal and healing — the kind that can only come from the glorious effect of God incarnate in Jesus. As I look back to Christmas 2020 and think about the disaster that the 7 of us faced, though not knowing each other then as we do now, I can say again that God is doing a new thing. There’s more joy than a moose-mug full of Grizwold eggnog in our home, and that’s because God is God and God is good. All glory to Him, this Christmas and always.

We hope that this season finds you well. Not just “well” as in “we hope it was a pretty good year”, but that you know the love of God and are in a place where you, too, can experience newness of life, the bombardment of Light in overwhelming darkness. If you don’t have the evidence of that yet, hold on to your faith, keep your eyes on Jesus, and trust that God is always working to do good things, even in the impossible.

What you see in our family photos is a husband and wife who love each other and love Jesus most. You see 5 kids who will all have, legally speaking, a mom and a dad. Of course, the pictures can only tell part of the story. The bigger story is one that includes you, too, our family and friends, who have been a blessing to us. We pray that you are encouraged, strengthened, and richly blessed this Christmas and in the coming year. May you find peace in Christ — appearing as a shining little light in a manger that cannot contain the Majesty of the Holy, who chose the path of humility and meekness to redeem us.

Merry Christmas, dear family and friends. We love you!

Adam, Brittany, Mac, Carter, Zac, and Cam.

PS: Lexi wants nothing to do with trotting out to the woods to take pictures, but she’s a big part of our hearts and home, too. She’s still smiling and hugging joy into anybody who needs it, and we love her!

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A Two-Headed Day

Yesterday was a two-headed day. On one hand (head), we’ve got young Zac’s 15th birthday. On the other, the 3 year mark of Shawn’s passing, my wife’s husband and the father of two of my kids.

As far as family function goes, its a study in contrast. It means that 3 years ago, on Zac’s 12th birthday, we (my 3 kids and I) were celebrating as Zac blew out candles and opened presents that I tried really hard not to wrap in Christmas paper. All of us were oblivious to what the day would mean then, nor what it means now.

As he desired, Zac and his friends traveled downtown by limo to enjoy a fancy meal at a swanky restaurant where the menu prices don’t have decimals. That was the day before his birthday. He woke up the next morning and didn’t go to school, another part of his gift — truancy. For his birthday, he got a classic Beach Boys vinyl album (I’m raising them analog) that he’s wanted for a long time, which Brittany found online in her own style, a way that makes everything complex look unreasonably easy, the same way she “whipped up a peanut butter pie — it’ll only take 5 minutes” and served it in graham cracker crust with protruding candles. We sang. He’s only 15 but he’s the size I was at age 21, so I count this as the last birthday where he’s not towering over me in a way that brings me 99% pride and 1% intimidation.

Hours later that evening, Shawn’s son Carter and I went out and drove the back roads of Ottawa County. It was all about time together with his adoptive dad. Talk, music, seeing if the truck can peel out, and the like. Unstructured. Memories. 3 years — a lifetime ago, yet yesterday. So much life has been crammed into the last 1,096 or so days. He and I talked about what it’s like to lose a parent, as my mom passed almost 13 years ago and yes, I think about her every day. You’re never quite the same, but you press on, unaware of the capabilities one has to do what you were convinced was impossible at the time. All of this, we discussed, is by God’s grace. I see God answering prayers in my son Carter’s life, and I stand in awe. There’s less anger with God, more thankfulness for what he’s got now in spite of the circumstances.

Cam and I talked about Daddy Shawn, a concept that he both grasps and gets confounded by. I have two sons that have experienced loss and trauma. They mix in nicely with my three other kids who have experienced the same popsicle, just of a different flavor. I imagine that Cam and I will talk about these things for the rest of our days together, just as with Carter. I’ll regularly remind them of the love and support that their Dad Shawn had for them, and that I am no replacement. Yet, I take my role as dad seriously. It’s a calling, a project, a position and ministry in life that displays God’s trust in getting us involved in the healing process, while pushing us to desperation that would not otherwise be there.

Brittany and I consider ourselves to be on a rescue operation, being their other parent who, as far as we can control it, will simply be here, loving our kids, some of which are ours and some who aren’t, but all of whom are our kids.

By God’s grace, we do this together and with tons of love and lots of grit and the occasional sparky frustration — whether it’s remembering a world-crushing loss or celebrating a fantastic kid’s birthday.

Even on days when we’re doing both at the same time.

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[RadCast] Advent: Cloth (Luke 2 & 23)

The gospels mention Jesus being wrapped in cloths two times… remember both times as you gather ’round the manger this Christmas…

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[RadCast] Advent: Don’t Be Afraid (Matthew 2:19-21)

It’s frustrating that God doesn’t defend himself by answering for every fear we have. I’m afraid of x, y, z… and God simply says
1) Don’t be afraid, for I am with you
2) There’s a bigger story unfolding and you’re in it
3) Salvation is here

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[RadCast] Advent: Just Say No (Titus 2:11-14)

Waiting for second Advent is made more difficult by the fact that we have all kinds of “outs” to temporarily numb the brokenness of the world and our own souls.
I know Christmas is a tough time for some of us. All kinds of good and bad, trauma and healing, joys and sorrows, are wrapped together. So we cope — sometimes in good ways, sometimes not.
God calls us to live a certain way and gives us power to do so. I’m glad for that, and I’m glad for you.

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[RadCast] Advent: Rescue from Fragments (Colossians 3)

Do we lose our nature as image bearers of God? No, but we sure look different… until the new creation of Christ happens.

We’re waiting for Jesus Messiah, the one who will come and rescue us from the fragments, including our own fragmented self. Until then, we’re all works in progress.

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[RadCast] Advent: You’d Better Watch Out (Luke 1:28b-29)

If you ever pray “Lord, just be with me today…” you’d better be real careful, because if He answers that prayer, even with the same nonchalance that you and I say it, stuff’s gonna happen.

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