I’ve been eating Chips Deluxe cookies since after school at Grandma’s house. Those Keebler Elves knew a thing or two about mass cookie production. Even if they weren’t the very best chocolate chip cookies on the block, there’s no denying that they were remarkably consistent, and consistency was a welcome friend, especially in Junior High.
Ah, but the day Grandma brought home Rainbow Chips Deluxe… that’s when everything went technicolor. That’s right: Chips Deluxe Rainbow Edition. This M&M rainbow (with no affiliations of which I am aware) added a new dimension to chocolate chip cookies. Manufactured by the creative cousins of the Oompah Loompahs, these Keebler-made Rainbow Chips Deluxe cookies had a new jive, a fresh flavor, a hipness beyond words, a new panoramic offering of otherwise bland after school treats. A few seemingly random M&M’s in each cookie made everything complete. Sometimes a green and an orange one, sometimes a couple of blue and a single yellow, and occasionally just two brown, but always there, always willing to be eaten around. The pattern seemed random but it wasn’t. There were only about five molds. The Keebler Elves know about volume and cost/benefit production strategy. And, again, consistency.
You’d think I would like all chocolate chip cookies with added M&Ms. You’d be wrong to think that as I don’t really like any other kind. I only trust the corporate Elves with this particular provision.
I have to eat Rainbow Chips Deluxe a certain way, though. Since you’re wondering, here’s how: I eat around the M&M’s with the nimble teeth of a precision squirrel. First go the cookie and chocolate chip parts, forming a three point island moored by M&Ms. After a moment of savoring the prize, the candy island gets consumed last. I have never ever ever just eaten a Rainbow Chips Deluxe bite by bite. I couldn’t. It would violate my childhood.
How do you eat a Rainbow Chips Deluxe?
A: I’ve never considered it and I won’t now.
B: The same way. Both of us must have similar issues.
C: I’m not a fan of the M&Ms. Give me Original Chips Deluxe.
D: I harvest the M&Ms and throw the cookies away because I am rich.