A few days ago, Cam and I stopped at Costco for groceries and after school snacks. Oh, the hairnets, plastic gloves, and little communion-size servings — how they please me. I used to feel midwestern guilty about the amount of baby pancakes, beef jerky, gogurts, and teriyaki chicken servings I’d eat in one shopping trip, but then it hit me: I end up buying half of the things they let me try. I’m pretty sure Costco is doing ok, even with my lack of quantity control.

Cam and I found our deals on palettes and walk in refrigerated rooms the size of our house. We gallivanted the aisles and picked out CamSnacks™ as well as household staples. We feasted like kings and Prime Ministers. The best moment was when Cam said “Daddy, this is the best day EVER!”

It doesn’t take too much when you’re six. It’s best to be fully present and enjoy the moment with him. Everything was going so well UNTIL Cam tried these little orange freeze dried yogurt nuggets. The lady said “try one — they melt in your mouth!” which reminded me of M&M’s. I took two little chef hat bowls, one for me, and one for Cam. Remembering his strong desire to someday go to space, I said “Cam, this yogurt is freeze-dried, just like astronauts eat.”

Saying this gave him the courage to try it. Saying this was a mistake.

He took a bite and started to cry. It did not melt in his mouth. It melted on the floor because he spit it out. I said “Cam, it can’t be that bad…” but it was. The difference between his experience and mine is that, as an adult, I didn’t have the social freedom to spit it out like he did.

Through tears, he said “I don’t wanna go to space anymore.” A lady at another sample station offered him a piece of paper towel (good thing they were sampling paper towel that day).

And then the day took a 180 degree turn. Cam said “this is the WORST DAY EVER!”

We got out to the parking lot and saw one of our neighbors. Cam offered a warning: “Don’t eat the astronaut food.”

Yep — it’ll ruin your day.