Friends, Thursday August 3 2023 will be a big day in our little family. It’s the day that we make Carter’s adoption official.

Carter is Shawn’s son. Shawn suddenly died just a few days before Christmas 2020. Needless to say, it was a devastation that few of us can begin to comprehend.

When Brittany and I met at that Starbucks, not knowing that God was about to ambush us with a plan of redemption, we talked about this very day in great detail. Carter’s biological mom, an active addict was out of the picture but still legally entitled to be a custodial parent to a young man who had tragically lost his father. True to her form ,Brittany jumped into action that very afternoon, officially as a stepmom but functionally as a mother, to get emergency custody and make sure that he was safe and secure, even as their world was falling apart.

That day at Starbucks, Brittany said “I have to stay in Ottawa county, otherwise I could lose Carter.” His adoption was one of the first conversations we had, she and I, over lattes and those brown napkins, and I was left overwhelmed by how much she loved him as her own, even though the courts would see it differently. Biology always wins, even if the result would be catastrophic for the child. I had to deal with the same issues with my biological kids. The parallels of our stories could not be ignored and, if anything, drew us together.

Now, nearly three years later — after terminating parental rights, jumping through legal hoops left and right, meeting arbitrary deadlines and becoming the cornerstone of our attorney’s practice (at least it felt that way), we can finally move forward with Carter’s legal adoption.

What surprised me is that Carter asked me to adopt him, too. Shawn is his dad and always will be, but here I am, ready to be whatever Carter needs. What he needs — what he wants — is a dad. And that’s me. I write this with tears in my eyes.

Brittany and I will become the legal parents of a kid who has gone through too much in his short life. We get to love him, care for him, raise him, and prepare him for manhood. It’s already been like that, but there’s nothing like having paperwork to make it official.

When Shawn passed, Carter looked at Britt and said “please don’t make me go back to my mom.” You didn’t, baby, and we can finally say that we made it, by God’s grace, to this momentous occasion. I’m so proud of my wife. She fights for kids that aren’t genetically hers, yet are hers through and through. That we get to be on this journey together is nothing short of miraculous, and I give all credit and glory to God for redeeming an unthinkably terrible situation as only He can.

Carter, I’m not your dad, but I’m your dad. I’ve got your back, son. I love you.

I choose you. You’re mine.

Friends, if you’d like to join us at Thursday’s court date (10am EST), here’s the link. We’d be so honored by your presence & couldn’t have gotten this far without your love, prayer, and support.

This is an invite to a Zoom meeting.  All parties should do one of the following to join the meeting at the time of the call for Judge Engle:

– Polycom and other H323 Systems – Dial 162.255.37.11##7772670396

– Windows, Android, and Apple Devices – https://miscao.zoom.us/j/7772670396

– Phone Call (No Video) – Call 646 876 9923 and enter Meeting ID 777 267 0396 

– SIP Systems – Dial 7772670396@zoomcrc.com

It’s a boy!