Have you ever been to a chiropractor?  I haven’t.  My wife has.  My dad has.  Some of my friends have.  They love their chiropractor.  Love.  The first word they use to describe their chiropractic experience isn’t really a word, it’s more of a sound followed by a long string of words: Ohaaawwwg it’s awesome you should totally try it sometime because it’s awesome and I love my chiropractor and I go like twice a month or three times a week and I should also say that it turnsoutithelpssomuchwithmycrackedcornallergy.

Yep, it sounds like a bad product translation.  That’s how good the experience is for some of them.

In the parlance of Google stars, Amazon customer reviews, and Yelp! commotion, this is a rather glowing report.  In my audience, chiropractors have gotten credit for fixing physical maladies like lower back pain, searing leg pain, recurring neck tension, constant ear infections, and feelings of inferiority.

There comes to mind a particular Simpsons episode where Homer goes to see a Chiropractor who enters the exam room, introduces himself as “Dr. Steve,” and asks Homer to lie down so he can begin the (exam? audit? manipulation?)  The Chiro Dr. Steve is too talkative for Homer’s sleepy ways.  Homer objects to the interruption by admonishing Dr. Steve to do “less yakin’, and more crackin’.”  Dr. Steve chuckles and says “Oh, Homer, we don’t actually crack backs! It’s merely an adjustment.  Okay… you’re going to hear a loud cracking sound…” to which Homer, after we all hear a loud cracking sound, says “It feels a little better!”

Ah.  Classic Simpsons.  So many layers.  So much good natured ribbing.  So educational.  So inaccurate? Probably.

That 27 second scene in the Simpsons, I’m afraid, is the brunt of my context for chiropractic care.  I know they’re miracle workers who help the body do its own thing without dousing us with stacks of meds, all with their intended results and unintended side effects.  Most say that the less pills we’re taking as a whole, the better.  I’m all good with that and I believe that chiropractors are professionals who are well trained for their field of work.  It’s just that… what if I become a junkie?  What if I’m one of those guys who has to go like every week, or three times a week, or every day?

You’ll have to pardon my over-concern with this.  I was raised Methodist.

So I’m thinking about going to see a chiropractor. I bet it’ll be good.  People I trust seem to think it’s a good idea.  I even know a few chiropractors, and they seem pretty legit.  Very legit, actually.  When I go, will I hear a loud cracking — ahem — adjusting sound?