This will not be an easy post for me to write, and it may not be a very fun one for you to read. However, the time is right for me to talk about what’s going on in our little family. Don’t worry — it’s not a moral failure or some kind of relational thing, and none of our kids robbed a bank or anything. It’s a health challenge. Read on if you’d like.
Last week, my wife had a seizure. She has no history of such, nor do they run in her family. Out of nowhere, on a fine evening where she and I and the boys were headed out to watch the new Lego Batman movie, she suddenly fell to our garage floor. Paramedics arrived and did their good work, and Emily took a ride to the hospital. Thankfully, we had an awesome caregiver at the house to watch Lexi, and so it worked out well to be able to reassure the boys yet let them stay home while I followed the Ambulance. I watched my wife through the little square window in the back as she chatted about this and that.
We reported to the ER and started to figure things out.
All the tests — blood, CT, etc — came back as unremarkable (which is good). The running theory is that this was a seizure induced by insomnia. In other words, Emily’s body decided to send an impossible to ignore message about not getting enough sleep. While she’s struggled with insomnia for the last 20 years, this was certainly a new high. Or low. A whole new level, nonetheless.
In a few weeks, we’ll see a neurologist to rule out any brain electrical malfunction. She’s slated for a sleep study, which will hopefully lead to some practical steps toward better and deeper rest. And her face, shoulder, and fingers, while in pretty rough shape from the fall and the tremors, will continue to heal well. Even now, bruised, she is so very beautiful to me.
We know a couple of things and don’t know some other things. Here’s why I’m putting this out there on RadBlog
- I am asking you, if you are a person of faith, to pray specifically for healing, for peace, for protection, and for wisdom during this time. Our family is really going through some serious stuff, and Emily and I both deeply believe in the power of God to not only help us but fix this. We would appreciate your prayer during this time.
- I want you to know that we’re kinda in shock right now. I’m on pins and needles, as my alert status has hit condition red. Our boys, who, sadly, witnessed some of the event, are both quite rattled (no pun, okay, maybe a little) by this. We’re trying to remain calm and trust God, but it’s still very raw and feels quite unreal.
- I want people to know why my beautiful wife looks like she got into a bar fight. Though it’s tempting to say “you should see the other lady,” the truth is that the physical signs are hard to ignore (especially for people who look for certain kinds of injuries.) Today Emily was in a public place and noticed right away that people couldn’t help but notice her, and not because she has awesome rainbow hair but rather her peculiar injuries.
- I want you to know that we have had our share of challenges in life, and we’re quite confused right now. The justice part of me wonders what I’m doing wrong, why we seem to be getting more than our share of trouble, and why, if the Father is so good, He seems to be “allowing” this. But, there’s also this:
- I want to confess to you that I use words of faith and trust but am not living it very well. Since I’m in a catlike state of constant readiness, every little sound and whatif pushes me to anxious worry. I’m the kind of person who finds it very easy to assess risk. This time, like most times, it’s Emily who is chill. She needs me to be chill. And the harsh truth for my soul is this: I either trust the Father or I don’t. I’m being formed through this, and I own it. Emily sees it pretty much the same. I believe; help my unbelief (Mark 9:24).
Sleep study & Neurology will do their stuff. Emily is laying low. But we’re still living, we’re still a family, and we’re still doing our stuff. Today was a better day, and we anticipate that tomorrow will be even better yet. As we wait for follow-up appointments with specialists, we will practice the spiritual discipline of prayer, the ancient study of scripture, and the frustrating work of waiting. I am grateful — we are — for God’s faithfulness and patience with us — especially with me. And we are grateful for our friends and family, those who already support and encourage in so many awesome ways. We know the love of God through the love of others, and that’s something we’re especially thankful for during this season.
With God’s provision, we carry on. Carry on with us.