Texted questions I didn’t get around to last evening.  Topic was 1 Peter 3:1-7 (wives be beautiful/husbands be considerate).  For context, click here.

Is that what the jewelry has to do with it? I wore a nosering and was talking to a pastor and he shut me off and I know people think noserings and belly rings etc. Ik it’s says for women not to wear gold jewelry and other stuff.

 There are a bunch of cultural contexts to consider here, but for the sake of keeping it brief…

1st Peter 3 is pushing back against the tendency to for wives to emphasize external beauty over internal beauty.  Followers of Jesus are transformed from the inside out, which is why our character matters much more than our appearance.  Our world (and even some churches) judge by external appearance.  I’ve experienced the same, believe it or not, when people say “Pastor, where’s your tie?” without asking at all how I’m doing, how my heart is, how my journey is going.  I know they don’t usually mean anything negative by it.  The truth is that the last few generations felt that it’s proper to dress your very best for Sunday worship, which speaks to how they respect God and church.  Our culture has changed quite a bit since then, but we still need to be sensitive to the values of previous generations, especially if we expect them to be sensitive to the next generation.

Here are a few questions to consider.  They may sound pointed, but rest assured I know you’re working through this and that I’m very glad we get to have this conversation.  Think about it:

1) What do you spend more energy on?   Looks or Christlike character?

2) Do you know and feel God’s love for you exactly as you are: fearfully and wonderfully made?

3) Are you bowing to the pressure of the world to make yourself externally beautiful as a substitute for character?

The world needs to see wives who are internally beautiful, which is far more attractive to the right guys.  External beauty (even piercings, nose rings, tattoos, pink and blue hair, etc.) is fine — but most impressive is a heart for the Lord.  By the way — my wife Emily has all of these and more.  And she’s a pastor’s wife 🙂

So which do we work on first? Our relationship with Jesus, or our relationship with our spouse?

I answered this briefly on Tuesday night, saying that your first stop should be to work on your relationship with Jesus.  However, I will add that you can ask your spouse to join you in this formative time by asking for prayer, support, and even forgiveness (repentance).  Frankly, I bet your spouse would love that.  Plus, you’d get the prayer support and encouragement that is desperately needed for a Christ-centered marriage.

Is it wrong to be biesexual?

I’ve been getting a TON of questions about this all week.  Human sexuality is the issue of our day.  I would ask this question: can you defend living life as a sexually active bisexual?  By definition, this takes monogamy right off the list, since two genders are involved.  What about transsexuals who may count themselves as being both genders?   What about people who claim to be another race?  What about… what about… what about…

Let’s say this and agree: Things are rapidly changing, but God does not change.  These are not questions that would have come up even 10 years ago, though people have been struggling with this for many generations.  To be honest, it’s scary for me to even talk about because it’s such a hot topic, and the church sometimes errs on the side of holding up signs about who God hates rather than who God loves.  This requires much godly wisdom that we might represent grace and truth well.

 I’ll say more later, but for this question in particular, I’ll say that any sexual ethic found outside biblical definition and acted upon is difficult to defend, no matter what our culture is saying and doing.

It’s fine for us to tell women that it’s inside beauty but when most of our Christian men are addicted to porn it communicates something altogether different.

Sin warps everything, especially our perception of beauty, truth, and value.  The Holy Spirit brings healing and redemption, which includes a right view of sexuality.  Pornography is the drug of choice for more and more people, both Christian and not.  Thanks in part to the internet, human addiction has been fueled like never before.  We need to make sure the church is a place where we graciously and truthfully deal with sin, perhaps even by name.  Men and women are both consumers of porn, and it really does a number on the minds, hearts, and souls of everyone.

Do you have a website for responses to all the questions that you didn’t have time to answer this week?

Yes.  http://www.radamdavidson.com

I’m using my blog instead of facebook because I want to have these things after Facebook goes the way of MySpace. I’m guessing by 2018 or so.

Thank you for being here this week! Honesty this was my first time at family camp and you have opened my eyes up and really helped me accept and let God into my heart. I would like to go home and continue this.  I will definitely be come back here next year and make it my mission to continue my faith more.

I am so glad to hear this and so honored to be able to speak this week.  Maybe even a little too excited.  God is good, people have been praying for the Spirit to move, and Jesus is transforming us as we look to Him.  It’s a special time indeed, and I pray that God develops deep roots in all of us this week.

Thank God men and women are equal but not the same, but even greater thanks that we are more similar than we are different.

Agreed.  We’re so different.  We’re so the same.  Both created in God’s image.  Both unique in so many ways.  I love Emily and thank the Lord she’s not like me.

Do you believe love is a state of being? Not just an action or a feeling?

I think love is a choice that leads to action.  Sometimes accompanied by warm feelings but not always.  That’s why people who are tying the knot make extreme promises about their lifelong faithfulness.  If lovey dovey romance could carry us, we certainly wouldn’t need such statements: in sickness and health, in plenty and want, in joy and sorrow…

Is it bad to say to someone that you love them more than anyone in the world with God?

Here’s my love priority list:

1) Jesus

2) Emily

3) My Kids

4) My family

5) Everyone else

Emily wants me to love Jesus more than her, because a love for Jesus will translate into a sacrificial love for her (and our kids, and everyone else, too).

Quote from Ron Kopicko to husbands, “you are the servant of a servant of a servant. You don’t have any rights! Serve your wife as she serves Jesus, just as Jesus served the Father”

Ron is spot on.  His influence on my life and our marriage cannot be underestimated.  Praise God for pastors, teachers, and friends who speak into our lives.

Why did Jesus weep ( in John 11) when he was already planning on raising Lazarus from death. It talks of Him (Jesus) being deeply moved, was he moved from the sorrow of his good friends or was he not confident that He could raise Lazarus?

Most bible commentaries I’ve encountered say that Jesus was moved by the response of his friends, either because of their lack of faith or because of their deep sorrow.  Divine tears show us that Jesus really does know what it’s like to see life from our angle and be one of us. That’s the beauty of His incarnation and sacrifice.  He experienced humanity as the divine.  He knows what it’s like.  He even cries with humans, which is profoundly overwhelming and deeply personal.

Did Jesus weep because he was concerned that it wouldn’t work?  I don’t really see it that way.  Jesus seems exceedingly confident throughout the Gospels — not haughty or arrogant, just sure of His Father’s will.   It may have crossed His mind (being fully human) but it never seemed impossible (being fully God).  But, for the sake of discussion, let’s say that Jesus wasn’t confident that He could raise Lazarus back to life.  Given His position now, I don’t think He doubts Himself at all 🙂