I totally missed Record Store Day because I was in two different hospitals with our son who presented with all the classic symptoms of appendicitis.  Turns out it was another culprit with a far less nefarious goal — constipation.  Appendicitis is a ticking bomb of internal bombsplosion, where the docotrs have hours to get in there and cut the blue wire (or is it the yellow wire?  Wait.  WIRE?  WHAT IS THIS?  A CYBORG!?!  UNPLUG!  UNPLUGGGGGG!)

I won’t go into the gory details about all the gory details, what with the HIPPO regulations and all, but I will say that everything is fine and that MiraLax™ is a fine product that is better than an Appendectomy.  That should be their marketing strategy:

MIRALAX™

better than appendectomy®

I’m happy that I missed Record Store Day for two reasons.  First, because it means that our lad is ok.  Second, because I’ve been reading all these articles that argue against Record Store Day as just another corporate money machine monster wreaking havoc on the local artist community.  Ugh.  This is why we can’t have nice things.

My friend and I once recorded an “album” that consisted of about 45 minutes of “conversation” about whatever came up.  It was atrocious.  We sold it to our friends.  To me, that’s Record Store Day.

I will still support our two local Kalamazoo Record Stores with great joy.  Both Green Light Music by the Checker’s and Satellite Records by the Crow’s Nest have a good selection of albums and whatnot. I’m in the market for a pressing of something by Spock’s Beard because I am one of several dozen worldwide fans of new progressive rock.

Spock’s Beard: also better than appendectomy.