Emily brought a bag of groceries into the kitchen and let the bounty spill forth onto the countertop, all typical fare from our local grocer conglomerate whose current yogurt prices made the mass purchase well worth it. Our family goes through yogurt like some people go through selfies: sometimes 3 or 4 every day, sometimes a few in an hour, and sometimes forgotten because of a distraction (like, for example, cottage cheese).
Yogurt can’t just be one thing. Yogurt is actually yogurt + vanilla flavoring / yogurt + fruit on the bottom / yogurt + probiotics. Was there ever a time where yogurt was just one thing? Emily scored a bunch of dual-chamber Chobani mixes, where it’s Yogurt + chunks, like sweepings from specific floors: the banana nut room, the dark chocolate + almond room. Even the additives have additives — not just chocolate — chocolate + almond.
My favorite dichotomy is how yogurt is healthy and indulgent: Caramel + 100 calories. Whip Cream + Sea Salt. And by the way: Sea Salt is brilliant marketing. I bet the next move is to market a new salt substitute called Sodium Chloride. Then, Chobani will partner with Morton and start selling NaCl in classic Greek Font.
Those yogurt people. So smart. And at 30% off, Emily is the champion shopper of the day. See? Everybody wins.
So, here’s to yogurt: I enjoy you. I am glad our refrigerator is full of you. I can’t wait to see what you come up with next to make me feel both healthy and gratified at the same time.