When my wife and I signed up for our gym memberships at Planet Fitness, the tour guide mentioned that they serve pizza every Monday night “as a thank-you to our customers.”  I’m a straight-face joker, so I assumed that he was playing me with my own game.  Now, after a year+ of membership, off again/on again attendance, and ongoing disbelief that this is even possible, I can now confirm with greasy fingers that Planet Fitness serves pizza on Monday nights.

I want to use this space — to really explore the space — and bounce around why I agree and disagree with the idea of pizza at a gym:

I agree with this idea because we’re all going to eat pizza anyway, even after working out. Ask the internet and they’ll tell ya: this ain’t Gold’s Gym.

I disagree with this idea because, after burning 1,200 calories on a tortuous mill of tread, I will possibly reach across the table and take two boxes, thus violating clause 7 in my membership contract that specifies no animalistic behavior, hereafter referred to as “lunking”.

I agree with this idea because pizza is an everyman food, whereas a healthy option like wheatgrass juice is for people whose tastebuds have been burned away by constant tofu.

I disagree with this idea because the delicious smell of pizza becomes the repulsive smell of pizza when you’ve been running so hard you feel like throwing up in the iPhone holder.

I agree with this idea because it makes my membership fee even more valuable by spreading the monthly cost across 30 days and a circumference of dough.

After deliberating, I have decided that yes, I’m going to plan on eating there on Monday nights. To save time, I may take a slice with me to the elliptical.