Lexi will turn 10. The big 1-0. Double digits. Tehhnnuh.

Emily said “We’re renting a bounce house for her birthday. It will go over there”, pointing to the place in our backyard where the bounce house will go.

“She might only like it for a little bit” I remarked. This was not helpful, though the intention was certainly there.

“Yeah, but the other kids will like it. Plus, a bounce house is so… Lexi.”

I said “We’d better make sure to anchor this bounce house to the earth or something really heavy.”

Emily looked at me like I wasn’t helping, which I really wasn’t. My memory took me back to an earlier news story where a bouncy house blew away in the wind because they didn’t anchor it to the earth or something really heavy. My risk assessment may have been true but it was also incomplete. I should have also pointed out that we should open the doors so that people can get in, or that we should use the legs of the folding table to levitate the food on the table surface above the ground.

We’re going to have a birthday bash for our oldest young one. I’m calling it LexiCon 2014.

At LexiCon 2014, we will have food and friends over to celebrate our 10 year old. She will either be bouncing in the bouncy house, eating pizza, or stealing your pizza to take it to the bouncy house. She will get pizza sauce on some stuff and she will not care at all. She will then take your pizza, again, not caring at all. We’re trying to teach her otherwise. We really are. The way I see it is like this: she only does what we all wish we could do. Honestly. You’ve never wanted to take someone’s pizza right out of their hand, and maintain eye contact while you eat it?

That’s a birthday party. Pizza. Bounce house. Etc.

A bouncy bounce house. An inflated house. You rent these things by the hour. You bounce. You fall, and the bare skin of your arm rubs against that rough textured plastic that is pressurized. That sound, like fwwwwwwiiip. The fan feverishly blowing air into the big straw that is holding you up. The Germans call it Baunz Haus. Or maybe they don’t. They should.

LexiCon 2014. The bounce house will be anchored.