In my experience, there is no way to eat a muffin in public without looking like a complete lunatic.  You know the ones — bigger than your folded hands, sticky, crumbly, and before every bite, you feel like saying “may I ask that you don’t look at me for just a sec?”  This came to mind because the kindly food people gave us some Sara Lee™ Muffins to eat during a break in our conference schedule.  If everyone is eating a muffin, you don’t feel weird.  But if everyone has already eaten their muffin, and you didn’t at the time because you were elsewhere talking to someone about their favorite Mario Kart moves, and you get there just in time to snag the last BananaNut Muffin™ (again, by Sara Lee™), every crumb you drop will be stared at by others (are you gonna pick that up?)  as you tilt your head to find the proper angle of approach.  People look.  Then people look away.

The same dynamic emerges with powdered donuts.  If your cohorts are polishing off a dozen, everyone in the room has the gang symbol of white powder around their mouths, therefore no one stands out (except for the guy who chose the lone apple fritter).  However, if they have already eaten their powdered donut and have moved on from such debauchery, and then you walk in a few minutes later to eat the last one, you will encounter a crisis: powdered sugar all over your face, all over your fingers, all over your computer, and not one napkin in site.  Your sleeves?  They’ll have to do.  You already look like a lunatic, anyway.

The demolition of pastries should be a communal event, not a solo performance.  Just an observation.

About radamdavidson

When I'm not blogging, I'm hanging out with my family, pastoring a church, or listening to vinyl. I think and write about Jesus, music, communication, organizational leadership, family whatnot, and cultural artifacts from the 1980's -- mostly vintage boomboxes. You can read my blog at www.radamdavidson.com, watch [RadCast], a daily 3 minute video devotional, or find me on socials (@radamdavidson). I also help Pastors in their preaching and public speaking (www.CoachMyPreaching.com).
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