Welcome to my blog subseries: Universal Question. I’m your host, Adam Davidson.
Today we examine one of the most complex of the universal questions. A word of caution: this journey is not for the easily befuddled. Its quandary spans over the generations and will continue on until the end of time.
Why do children absolutely insist on shining a flashlight into their eyes for an inordinately long time, that is, until they hear the phrase “stop it” repeated 17 times — with gradual intensity.
If I were a desperate Ph.D. student, I would easily seek funding from a large corporation to do extensive (read: expensive) research into the matter. The EverReady battery people should pay up handsomely.
No one knows what causes this chronic case of flashlight-in-the-eyes syndrome, but it affects a vast majority of children from age 1 to at least 6, as far as my research goes.
Stop it.
Stop it.
STOP it.
STOP IT.
STOP IT!
STOPPP IT!
STOP ITTTTTTT!
STAHHHHHHHP EEEEEEEEET!
Etc.
(blindness)
(R) Adam Davidson 