Netflix, we’ve had a rich relationship. I pay you money. You send me DVD’s and data at a perfect bit rate. You provided streaming movies and TV shows about an unfortunate British man with distracting eyebrows and I consumed. I provided money for you to buy ice cream, server space, etc. and you consumed.

It was a match made in heaven and everyone seemed happy.

Until…

You demanded more money — twice as much — without warning.
Without upping the ante and making it so that I could also stream an 80’s TV show about two unlikely cousins just trying to make it in Chicago.
Without asking me about it.

Netflix, you must have assumed that I would be okay with this. I’m not. Bad form! (to quote “Hook”, a movie that is not available for streaming).

So, since you’re doubling the membership price out of nowhere, here are my demands, effective now:

1. Flip the switch that makes it so I can stream Perfect Strangers and Family Matters. No more waiting for the DVD.
2. Flip another switch that creates a made for TV movie where the cast from Perfect Strangers bump into the cast from Family Matters and go on an adventure. They all live in Chicago, so this scenario is more than plausible.
3. Flip the switch that makes it so that I can watch all of these movies in my glasses. I’m so tired of laptops and iPhones.

Too much to ask? I don’t think so. You made the first move, Netflix.

You have 24 hours.