RoloTonyBrownLawn

I like to mow my lawn using the lowest blade setting possible so that the maximum amount of time can pass between mowings. The trick is to cut it at just the right length, of course. As a lawn hobbyist (not necessarily by choice), I’ve learned that proper lawn length is one of the great mysteries of horticulture. If you cut it too long, you’ll have to do it again on Tuesday. Too short and it goes brown. Oh, to be able to scalp my lawn one a month, only to spend my suddenly free weekends rocking in a hammock or frolicking in the yard dust with the children. But that’s not an option when it comes to the economy of neighborhood lot care.

Yesterday I mowed at the lowest setting ever, at least for my little yard. It was a gamble. I was basing my decision on the possibility of rain that night, the next morning and the day after that, since the weatherman (or weatherperson, if you will) suggested a 30% chance of rain each day. “Well”, I thought to myself, “30 percent times three days is 90 percent”. Then I remembered Miss Hakala teaching our entire 6th grade class at Douglas Elementary about the rules of percentages, averages, and not crying when you end up with a remainder. 30 percent every day for three days averages out to 30 percent, which means, according to Miss Hakala, that it probably won’t rain. It also means, according to Miss Hakala, that my lawn will turn brown.

Then again, it may hang on and stay green. So much of my yard is shaded by the uber protective trees, trees which stand taller than my math skills and may be the saving grace to provide a healthy summer lawn. I’d say there’s about a 30% chance at best.

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