I’m reading a book right now that I thought I would never buy because it’s about a topic that I’ve never cared all that much about: Abs.

Sure, I wish it was about Anit-Lock-Brakes, but it’s not. “The Abs Diet” is about your abdomen muscles and their visual proof of existence, which, the book argues, will lead to a healthier and longer life. Healthier. Longer. I think both would be pretty good. This comes on the heels of using an app on my iPhone that, as the title promises, helped me to “LoseIt” (running tally — about 62 pounds). Counting calories is a great way to drop weight. So is running/lifting/waking/biking. But I’ve grown weary of two things in my current eating scheme:

1. I know it can’t be OK to count a spoonful of sugar as only 5 calories. It is — it really is — but the other affects on my physical situation haven’t really been addressed until now. Incidentally, it really does help the medicine to go down. To where, I’m not sure. Perhaps my shoes.

2. Aerobics are fun and all, but I like the idea of lifting weights. The issue that comes to my mind is whether or not I will get the same kind of weight loss results by throwing steel vs. running from an imaginary wolf that only I can see.

Enter the book. The book that I thought I would never buy. I’m looking at it right now. And it’s about Abs. A fad. A book about how to do things, things that are written in capital letters for full effect. Things like:

LOSE THAT PESKY 5 POUNDS!!!! (…and keep it off!)

WANT WASHBOARD ABS? TRY EATING A WASHBOARD!!!!

are SITUPS BAD FOR YOU? Doctors say “PROBABLY NOT!”

We’ll see where this goes. WHERE WILL THIS GO? READ ON TO FIND OUT! (p.47)