I mentioned in an earlier post that I’ve set out to lose 30 pounds off of this sack of goo by my 30th birthday. I started the diet, which I will explain in a moment, on September 22. As of today, I’m down 23 pounds. I weigh less now than I did in my freshman year of college. I look older, but that’s because my hair left my cranium for a better place, which, as far as I can tell, is my back.

The “diet” is one of the best I’ve tried. Counting calories sure helps you make different decisions in how you eat. For example, I used to eat a good 1/3 of a can of Honey Roasted Peanuts, thinking that it was good to be taking in so much protein. Problem: I was also taking in like 700 calories. The same goes for that sweet bread over there at that one place — Olive Garden, I think it’s called — where I would easily add 1,000 calories to an already pretty good meal. There’s not a surgeon general’s warning on the bread basket, but maybe there should be. Not because I think I’m going to get lung cancer or anything, but rather because it seems like all that Surgeon General cares about are smokes. Any Surgeon will tell you that too much food is bad, too. This is only my assumption, though.

I still eat whatever I want. I just know that I will “pay” for a big lunch by having to eat a lighter dinner. I’ve been drinking Diet Vernors like some kind of Diet Vernors addict, and that has helped me in two areas: appetite suppression and sneezing.

I may not make it quite down to 288 pounds by November 17, but I’m doing better now than I was 10 years ago. It has already been worth it.
PS: I’m hungry.