Today we make our bi-monthly trip to Sam’s Club, which means two things:
- We can get 10 pounds of Animal Crackers for the price of 9 pounds.
- The kids can eat free lunch, thanks to a conglomeration of microwaves and kind, begloved old ladies.
I have gotten into the habit of buying in bulk and tracking how long it lasts. On May 4, we purchased a large crock of Country, by which I mean “Country Crock”. It still resides in our refrigerator, waiting to be spread on bread, bread that has been toasted, muffins, frying pans and bee stings. We also bought like 90 pounds of Cascade dishwasher detergent which is also ready to deter the filth on our dishes, including old dried up Country Crock.
What, then, do we need? We need Animal Crackers. We need milk. We need cheese. Why not buy a cow? Oh, at Sam’s Club, you can’t just buy one cow; you have to get the six pack. See…that’s where they get ya.
Other than that, we’ll pick up whatever strikes us as the right thing to get. A palette of Altoids? Curiously heavy. A bin of honey? Great, except for the honey that leaks everywhere. A stack of plasma TV’s? Not on my credit card. Exchanging my plasma for a plasma TV? If you wanna talk, then by all means — let’s talk.