The Night God Said “I Love You”

Not too long ago I was pouring my heart out until it hurt. Maybe you’ve done the same. It’s where you’re praying in sentence fragments that are linked with phrases like “and furthermore” or “why didn’t you…“. You’re puking on God’s lap. It was cathartic praying where, in the end I almost felt like apologizing to the Lord. I wasn’t happy; I was mad. My prayer attitude was very unprofessional, unpolished and frankly rude. I was asking the Lord why I was shortchanged here, why such and such happened and why that person got something they didn’t deserve. I said things like “you healed lepers and cured people who touched your robe, but I can’t touch your robe?” I was “just being real”, like the kids say. It wasn’t pretty, but it was true.

I got done ranting and heard something; not audibly, but it was out there for sure. The Lord was responding.

Now that you’re done, I have something to say to you: I love you.

While it was much kinder of a response than I deserved (compared to, say, a lighting bolt), it still shocked me. It shocked me because it was a complete answer to all my issues. I am a loved, cared for, grace-given child of God. The Father loves me. It is evident in the cross; it is evident in the resurrection. It is evident on cold, dark nights when you’ve gotten crap spewed everywhere and hear these words.

No one was healed, at least as far as I know. But one guy was changed.

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